I came back from my meeting feeling very frustrated and stressed. It was a four hour meeting and by all ramifications successful and promising but for whatever reason I was irritable and I could not understand what made me so. My carpenter decided to upset me the more by not repairing the broken down bed and I was expecting visitors. I was so upset with his “I can’t be bothered gesture” when I finally got through to him on phone. I was so angry that I almost choked on saliva while screaming down the phone at him. I was livid and confused as to what to do considering that my guests were arriving in less that the next morning. This was 6pm and I wonder where I could get another carpenter at that hour. I had being pondering on this and wondering how all the money I withdrew from my account that morning, developed wings. I tried to renegotiate with my cab driver to see what discount I could get off him but he became almost insulting. I was surprised because this man had an accommodating spirit and I could not fathom where the aggression came from. I stood there my mouth agape while he continued in his unusual outburst. I quickly gave him what I had while wondering why I deserved such an insult. He collected his money and told me I wouldn’t understand the amount of pressure he was under. I apologised to him because I tried to put myself in his position but I just couldn’t as I had paid him 15k within two days. I felt he should be appreciative but he made me understand he could have earned far more if he had taken some other client out. I looked at him as he drove off and I shook my head wondering what I would do to overcome my phobia for driving. The cost of transportation was eating too deep into my income that I sometimes feel-unjustified, maybe, that I was working for my cab driver
I slowly climbed the staircase to my apartment, sat on the sofa angry, confused and upset. I picked my phone to call just one person I would call whenever I feel as if the world was crashing on my head. Sometimes, just hearing his voice is like a soothing balm to my wounded spirit.
“hello” I said
“hello Ose, I can’t talk now but I will call you back” he said
This further threw me into despondence. Why are people never available when you want to talk? I thought to myself. I threw my phone on the sofa, curled on the sofa indulging in self-pity. I was too sad to call my security to switch on the generator. I laid there with all sorts of thought running through my head. I felt like that song “I have got cookies running around my head” I couldn’t just get myself to unwind. Then my phone rang. I looked at it grumbling to myself that I was in no mood to talk to anyone. But it was my soul mate so I picked the call
“Hi” I said
“What’s wrong? You sound down. This is Christmas the season of celebration.” My soul mate said
“That’s just the problem. I am not in any mood for celebration. I am tired, frustrated and stressed out” I complained
“Ha! My friend, you have what is called
Holiday blues. You will be okay. Don’t worry.” He assured me
Holiday blues?” I asked. I have heard the terminology before but I thought it was something that applied to those living abroad. I never thought I could experience such. I decided to check what holiday blues is all about and what the symptoms are. These are
· Depressed mood
· Decreased interest in life activities normally enjoyed such as social gatherings, shopping, cooking, hobbies
· Feeling overwhelmed
· Fatigue, feeling drained physically and emotionally
· Sleep or appetite disturbances
· Anxiety, feeling nervous, edgy or "keyed up"
· Excessive guilt
I looked at the symptoms and I knew my soul mate was right. I have always wondered why there is so much pressure for just a day’s celebration. I can’t understand why prices will go up three times the normal rate because it is Christmas. While people would want to seize the opportunity of the season to defraud and take advantage of others just to make extra money for Christmas. There is always so much pressure just for a day’s celebration. I just can’t get it. What are we celebrating really? What is the reason for the season? Haven’t we shifted our focus from the real reason?