It was a very hot afternoon. The heat was too much and as usual NEPA had struck again. I was restless so I decided to pay a friend a visit. My friend, Ronke's house was just a walking distance from mine. Walking in the scrounging sun, I arrived at her house all sweaty. Ronke opened the door for me. "Hi, Ose! How now?" "I am fine" I responded walking into the sitting room. I sat down and as I expected her house was cool as she had her generator on. "Men! this weather is killing" I said. "Hmm Yes o!" Ronke said distracted. She was a bit distracted as she kept on responding to the messages on her phone. I sat there watching the TV. I had started dozing off in front of the TV when she tapped me. "I am very sorry" she said smiling sheepishly. "I can see you are very busy." I replied. "Not so busy except that I joined this dating platform on the internet and since then I have had hordes of suitors." she explained. "Dating site? I asked surprised. I didn't know Nigerians visit the dating site. "Yes o!" she replied excitedly." My friend introduced me to it and I have met a lot of interesting men" Ronke explained. "Please pardon my ignorance but aren't these sites dangerous?" I asked." No, Its actually interesting. I meet all sorts of men there but some of them can be crazy. Like the guy who sent his naked picture to me. I was embarrassed and quickly blocked him. But most guys I have met are very decent." " But why a dating site?" I asked "I can't trust anybody I meet through such a platform" I said. "Ok Ose wetin man go do?" She asked. "See I am in my forties and never been married. All the men I have met are not serious but with this, it is like casting my net wide." She explained. "But you don't know them. What if they are psycho?" I asked worried. "Oh girl, there are a lot of psycho out there. I beg. All I know is that I must marry this year and I have gone out shopping for a husband. "
"How many of these guys have shown interest and how do you begin to know the serious ones?" I asked still pondering. She left where she was and sat beside me. "Look at this one, he is extremely quiet". "After our initial contact, I have had to do all the calling and maintaining contacts". I am beginning to wonder why he contacted me anyway. It is like he developed cold feet. Look at this "flipping to another picture," he is actually very nice. Always chatty but there is something not right about him. He is too quick to talk about his wealth and I wonder if he has as much as he claims. This is the main person I am interested in." She said showing me his picture and profile. "He is very attentive and caring. We have gone to the extent of arranging to meet each other." She explained.
Now I wonder what if the guy is not who she thinks he is. What if he's a psycho and probably worst than any of the guys that she has rejected? Well she has to take a risk but is it worth the risk?
You know, that's a concern I have about online dating too - what if you only attract crazies? Then I watched this TED Talk titled "How I hacked online dating" where the speaker, Amy Webb, talked about her weeding process. Sure, she went on some crappy dates but ultimately, she found Mr. or rather, Dr. Right. I think I'll try her methods soon. Besides, what other dating forums are out there?
ReplyDelete@Abi, I really don't know and may be I am of the old school- would prefer the old traditional way but really where are the guys?. Promise to feel me in with your experience.
DeleteJust so long as you know you're dealing with human beings, be ready to encounter the good, the bad and the urgly at any time whether physically, in real life or on a dating site which are usually open to everybody and in many cases are free or with a token as subscription fee. That does not however mean that 'good' guys/ladies don't use dating sites, they do but be sure of all acquaintaces before opening up to anyone or as they say 'shine your eyes'.....
ReplyDeleteWell in life, certain things work for certain people while they do not work for others. Believe me some people have been lucky to get hooked through these fora. However, I ask, why get into a faceless venture, for sure some may not post their real pictures and you may end up getting engaged with a monster. We need to thread cautiously. This internet stuff ehmmmmmmmmmmm! just be careful
ReplyDeleteWell, you know how I feel about this already. I feel the number one reason people frown on online dating is personal safety which is extremely important, they feel like online dating is more risky...wrong! I don't care whichever way you take your dating game, you still have to take safety into account especially if it's someone new. The second reason is that people fear being judged by others....
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the most important things to remember is to be cautious and careful. Online dating is just as safe as any other method as long as you take simple precautions to protect yourself. I always tell my friends to use the ones you have to pay a certain amount of money to join..that usually means only the serious ones join. Best of luck to your friend!
Scary! I mean really very scary game. I am a very cautious person and safety is one of the most important factors in any of my undertakings. I feel more comfortable with the traditional dating style. Anything online to me is risky and better done with utmost care especially dating online. I think people like me needs more time to overcome our fear over online dating. Our reactions are probably psychological, online dating may not be any different from traditional dating. But for now, thumb up for traditional dating. Ronkie
ReplyDeleteSometimes it works, most times it does not. most of the time, it is filled with the married/unavailables, out to play. they dangle the "carrot" of marriage in the faces of desperate single ladies, who usually go after these carrots like atarving rabbits. so beware and no matter what you do, DONT PURSUE MEN! meaning......dont crowd them, limit phone calls and chat time, be the one to first get off the phone, end dates politely, alwz appear busy, act like u r doing them a HUGE favour by entering their lives, without being a bitch or rude. unneccessary bitchiness/rudeness is rather trashy! Be pleasant. hitting the sack should be far from ur mind for a long time, until he commits . meet in public places for a long while and get to know people around him, GRADUALLY. Gd luck in the hunt.
ReplyDeleteYou are so right about your comments and advise. Men are still men anyday. They prefer to do the chase. Thanks.
Deleteose, na me o, chinwe, d jan 30 10.17 post. i no get power for all d run around just to sign in. i tell u say I lazy!! LOL!! nice blog site though. good luck.
ReplyDelete@ Chinwe, lol..All you need to do is follow the blog. Thanks
ReplyDelete