Thursday, 3 July 2014

Tit for Tat

“Auntie can you imagine what the Pastor said to us at the marriage counselling session today?” Foluso asked as she started cooking dinner.

 “No” I answered. I leaned on the door watching her chopping pepper, onion and tomato with expertise of a fine cook. Foluso loved to cook and you can’t take it away from her, she did it very well. I watched her silently waiting for her to continue her story. She washed her hands in the sink and turned to look at me.

“The Pastor told us of a woman whose husband was a philander. He was never at home but spent most of his free time chasing after young girls.” She narrated. Foluso and Alex, her fiancĂ© were preparing for marriage so they go for marriage counselling every week. She would come back from these sessions telling me about what the counsellor for that week told them. Most times, she found the sessions amusing believing that most of what they were told were archaic and cannot stand modern day situations.

 “The fact of his activities was not hidden from the wife.” She said as she continued with her narration. “But she never challenged her husband but prayed to God that He should change her husband. The more she prayed, the worst the husband became. According to our Pastor, one day the husband came home with his girlfriend and told his wife that they were going to have a threesome.”

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Yes o.” She answered.

“So what did she do?” I asked.

“She did not argue with her husband but asked the woman if she wanted to shower and showed her the bathroom.” Foluso said

“Really,” I said in disbelieve.

“She also offered the lady a nightie and  asked if the girlfriend wanted anything to eat.” She said laughing.

“So what happened?” I asked in anticipation of a dramatic reaction from the wife.
 “The girlfriend finished taking her bath and came to the sitting room where the couple waited for her. The man jumped up excited and told his wife to proceed to the room.” She continued.

 “And?” I asked.

“The girlfriend carried her bag and told the man that he was a wicked man who had no respect for his wife. She left despite the fact that the wife warned her that it was too late. She also offered the use of the guest room for the night.”

“Interesting” I said finding it difficult to believe that any woman will be that calm in the face of outright disrespect. I was dumbfounded listening to Foluso.

“So what now happened between the man and his wife?” I asked.

“Ha! According to pastor o, hmmm, the man for the first time in years then realised how beautiful his wife is after the girlfriend had insulted him. He apologised to her and became a good husband thereafter. She said cynically.

“Please!” I laughed sarcastically. “How convenient for the foolish husband to change at this point.”

“Well, the real gist is that Pastor now asked me in the presence of Alex what I would do?”

“What was your response?” I asked curious.

“I told Pastor that I will simply invite my own boyfriend for a threesome too.” She replied.

“Ah! I shouted. How can you say that?” I asked chiding her.

“Auntie, my motto is tit-for-tat. Whatever the devil that will make my husband have the effrontery to bring his girlfriend home, ha! He should be prepared that I will definitely get back.” Foluso said vehemently.

“But Foluso, no marriage can survive on that principle.” I advised.

“Ha! Men too should learn to respect their wives, and most especially the sanctity of marriage. If he is not willing to make the marriage work, why should I? Auntie, it takes two to tango. If it fails, we both failed.” She said fervently.

“I agree that the sanctity of marriage should be respected and honoured. But you know there is no tit-for-tat in marriage that is if you don’t want a broken marriage.

“Auntie Please o!” She said forcefully.

“Anyway, what did the pastor say after you said this? I asked still shocked at her response.

“He looked at me in disbelief and shook his head.” Foluso laughed.

“Alex?” I asked.

“He knows me. He knows that I don’t take nonsense.”  She smiled knowingly.

I looked at her in amazement as she went back to her cooking. I truly wondered what the future holds in stock for her and Alex.